January 2012
my granny just rang me up and said “happy 2011!!!! ” and i was like “thankyou but don’t you mean ‘happy 2012?’ and then she said “no… happy 2011. last year was 2010” which means she spent the whole of 2011 thinking it was 2010 this explains a lot
December 2011
things i gained from 2011
- weight
you know what fuck new years eve i just want to crawl into a little shell and wake up in 2012 just in time for the world to end
oh my GOD christmas beetles are the work of satan. i mean why must they thrust themselves against my window and make that fucking noise i seriously just want to pick up the nearest razor blade and shave whatever it is that makes that godforsaken SOUND clean OFF i don’t care if i sound like a horrible and inhumane motherfucker i mean they are my least favourite insect species they are the scum of the invertebrate society
